"Treat others the way you want to be treated," goes the popular advise.
But, does it work?
Let's analyse.
Assume that you are a very punctual person. You have promised a person that you meet him/her at eleven in the morning. If you reach the place at the specified time, you realise that the other person has not come yet. You wait for half an hour. Then, the person arrives, with a smile.
There may or may not be a trivial mention of apology by the person, with a smile that is almost stops at saying 'I don't value your time.'
Let us not go into the right or wrong of the actions of the other person, as the focus here is about you.
Let's assume that you reach the place by twelve, an hour late. The person is just half hour late, and has been waiting for you for the rest half hour. When you reach the place, you may or may not come across a look that makes you feel guilty.
If you do not apologise, it is still alright with the person.
But, if you throw a few words of apologies, even though you don't mean it, the person buys it wholeheartedly.
What works in this situation is "Treat others as they want to be treated" and not "As you want to be treated".
What do you think?? ;-)
But, " Treat others as you want to be treated " was easier. You know how you want to be treated. You could taken actions based on those. " Treat others as they want to be treated" is difficult, as you are not sure about how they want to be treated.
Valid point.
But, who said life was easy??? :D
One way to go about understanding how the other person wants to be treated, is the way the other person treats you. If the other person is very sensitive, he/she expects the same of you. If the other person is easy going, and you become all sensitive, emotional.... you may get a "Jeez, cool it!!!". If the other person is not very punctual, he does not expect you to be punctual.
However, I would like to throw in my disclaimer on this observation. This line of thought only works when the relationship is not of the type mentor-mentee, or coach-coachee. In these situations, it becomes the "job" of the mentor, or the coach to not sell short for mentee or coachee, but beat them to shape irrespective of the personal behaviors of the mentor or the coach.
For your success,
with warm regards,
Thejas
