An evening at the Ice Skating Rink

"Uao ooo ooo ooooooo" screamed the playback singer, as Akshay Kumar skated over the smooth, and white ice surface in his sensational movie 'Aankhen', for the passionate song 'Gustaakiyan'. He manouvres his moves to the rhythm of the song, as he takes a wide turn, into the arms of the nubile females in mini-skirts, in gawdy colours. Then they all form a line, and glide around the rink, beautifully raising their legs as they perform to the song on their single legs. Reel life.
"AAAAAA uuuffff....urgh" screamed the voice, as I saw my feet come up in air, and the ice floor hit my soft hind. After the shock of the impact, I did realise that it was my own voice. "Are you ok?" the Chinese lady in white jacket beside me enquired, though she was too little for me to expect her to pull me up. That was my first day at the Ice Skating. Real life.

On this Saturday, the first day of bitter coldness ( a little less than zero degree centigrade) in Minneapolis, my friend came upon this skating rink near our apartments. He had given me a call to join him there, and half nervous hour later, I found myself gaping at the large, white and spotless surface of the ice skating rink. We had rented out skate boots, which resembled like that of the 'Giant Robot' , with thick metallic blades attached to the soles. One kick with this, and all the villians of Bollywood would give up any ideas to rape the heroes' sisters.
When the gates of the rink opened, all the young and the old there, eagerly entered the arena, with such glee that I had only witnessed in the eyes of the desi junta, the fat men with dark, ruptured skins and lanky kids with loose 'chaddi's, who would have escaped the guards' eyes at the dirty, Jayanagar swimming pool of my childhood days in Bangalore ( fyi: people with ruptured skins, and loose 'chaddi's aren't allowed into the swimming pools, legally).

As the people skated around, with such ease, my nerves cooled down, and I chanted my mantras, as I prepared myself to enter the skate zone. As soon as I entered the arena, I could feel it. Actually, I could not feel it. The 'it' being the friction, something that makes us move forward, when we put the pressure on our feet to move ahead.
Imagine a scenario where you are walking on a thick layer of oil, where the friction is absent. Can you feel my experience now?

NO, YOU CANNOT.

Because, on the thick layer of oil, you have the full surface of your feet to stand on. Here, I was to balance on the wretched blades of Mr Giant Robot's shoe :-(.

Suddenly, I felt myself moving. Even an unintentional, light jerk of a muscle is enough to make one move on this zero friction surface.
HEY, HOW DO I STOP THIS THING? I was panicking.
And suddenly, the help came from almighty, where I screamed like Akshay Kumar, as the different parts of my body kissed the cold ice below.

Holding the rink's boundary railings for support, I pulled myself up, and slowly moved, occasionally holding the railings to prevent falling i.e when I was actually on my feet. The average time spent on my feet were small in comparision to the average time spent in looking at the ceiling after a nasty fall, followed by the teethy smile at the people who stared at me, some with concern, and some stiffling laughter. Also, I had spent some time to let the blood flow back to the parts, which were forgotten by the other parts of the body, after a fall.

After two hours of testing the hardness of the almost all areas of the large skating rink, I was managing to move slowly without falling. I did complete a circle or two of the rink without falling.
"Are you a starter?" asked a kid, one of the numerous, who were skating around effortlessly, as fish in water.
"You bet I am," I smiled back at him.
Then, he parted with a few tips about how to go about doing it, without falling.
"Move your legs outwards, not straight. This would put pressure on the blades sidewards, which would prevent you from falling. The blades don't cut sideways," another stout man in his middleage ventured.

Soon, it was time for resurfacing. As everyone skates around on the ice surface, there are various grooves, and lines formed, which reduce the smoothness of the surface. This increases the effort required to skate around, also reduces the fun......supposedly. ( FUN!!! More smoothness = more slipping and falling......'Bekkige chellaata, ilimarige praana sankata'.... 'a whimsical play for the cat, threat on the life of the mouse' goes an old adage)
Everyone was asked to leave the rink for fifteen minutes. Soon, a quaint vehicle drove onto the surface, a replica of a steam engine, which wipes out the loose ice particles, and smears the surface with a layer of water. This layer of water would freeze on the surface, filling onto the grooves and lines, making the surface surprising smooth, and ready for another bout.

As I entered the rink, with a little confidence, as a result of not having fallen for the past half hour (fifteen minutes outside the rink included ;-) ), I carefully moved, watching the surface with complete attention, with hands in a posture ready to take any fall. As I slowly moved around like a scared Duryodhana in Indraprastha, I was building up my confidence, and also adding minutes to my track record of 'on-my-own-feet time'. Suddenly, a kid whizzed past me, the next moment I was watching the beautiful, glass roof of the rink. I was in no mood to appreciate its architecture, because the rear parts of my body were giving the last screams of survival. Then, I heard it. The laughter of Draupadi. Oh! Sorry. This Draupadi was dressed in green chemise, and jeans, and had spotless white skin with blond hair. Also, this Draupadi had used up much of the jeans cloth of Arvind mills (many jeans pants here, are Made In India ;-) ), to cover her XXL obese body. She skated away.

Here, the story differed. I did not get upset like Duryodhana. History repeats, NOT MYTHOLOGY. ;-))

I slowly pulled up, and continued my practise with shackled efforts.

My 'Duryodhana-in-Indraprastha' sequel started, and went on for the next hour. It was time for resurfacing!!!

After fifteen minutes, 'DING'!!! The third round of battle began between the ice monster and myself. The monster seemed to try out all the tricks to make me fall by giving me various surfaces, smooth and rough, but I managed to hold my ground. The armageddon had begun.
And I was determined to win it.

Just then, "Hey, is this your first time?" I heard a female voice say.
I turned around to see Draupadi...err.... the female who had laughed at me earlier.
"Yes," I smiled back, the same teethy smile came naturally to me, due to the numerous occasions of use on that day.
"You are doing pretty well, for the first day," she nodded with a smile, as she stood effortlessly on the skates. I desperately wanted to steal a glance if her shoes had some special stand or something (like cycles of kids) to help her stand without losing balance.
"Hey, thanks," I said, the teethy smile merging into a genuine one.
"It is very easy once you get the hang of it," she said, " I am sorry, I laughed at you earlier when you fell."
"Oh! That's ok. You still haven't seen me fall on the regular floor," I laughed out aloud, so that she laughs irrespective of whether she understood the joke or not.
She did laugh, and "Hang in there, you will get it," she said as she skated away.

An hour and a lot of falling later, my friend and myself settled down beside the rink, discussing the strategies that could be employed to skate better.

"Do we go in again?" my friend asked me, "to try out the strategies."

"Muchkond maneg hogana (let us shut up and go home)," I said.